


Your REAL Secret Santa

by nagi_schwarz



Series: Comment Fic 2016 [132]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 21:28:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8940031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/nagi_schwarz
Summary: Written for the comment_fic prompt: "Stargate: Atlantis, John Sheppard/Rodney McKay, The boys DIDN'T get each other in the Secret Santa, but that doesn't stop them from ACTING like they did."





	

This was it, the annual Christmas Secret Santa. Evan had worked tirelessly for two months to make sure the Christmas celebrations panned out. There was bartering and bargaining, trading and cajoling, and then baking and boiling and cooking, pastries and candies and roasts. He’d arranged for decorations in the mess, had some of the combat engineers build a tree out of found branches from every planet they had offworld missions to for a month. He’d painted and folded and stitched and paper mached decorations just for the tree.  
  
And then there was the Secret Santa exchange. Making sure everyone on base was signed up and then getting a name distributed to everyone had been a logistical nightmare. Evan would rather evacuate the entire expedition back to Earth through the Stargate with nothing but ducks as pack animals than do that again.  
  
But when the Christmas feast finally arrived, it was all worth it. The stress and sleepless nights and endless arguments and begging and pleading were worth it. The food was delicious. There were carols and candles and readings from dozens of different scriptures about peace and joy and goodwill.  
  
And then came the presents.  
  
Once Evan had assembled all the names for the occasion, he’d handed it off to Naoe the database engineer so not even he knew who his Secret Santa was.  
  
But as soon as he opened the box and looked inside, he knew. Recognized the handwriting immediately. An IOU from Colonel Sheppard.  
  
_One paperwork task of your choice._  
  
Evan thought of the upcoming employee evaluations he had to fill out, smiled, and went to wish Sheppard a Merry Christmas. He was nowhere to be found.

*

Radek had always appreciated the concept of a Secret Santa gift exchange. Growing up as impoverished as he had, it had always been impossible for everyone in his family to buy gifts for everyone else, so having to come up with just one was something he was good at. Coming up with a meaningful but economical gift was a talent he’d honed over the years, and he was proud of the gift he’d chosen for Colonel Sheppard.  
  
The man was much smarter than he let on. Radek knew this because, unlike Rodney, he actually read the personnel files. Rodney hadn't listened to Elizabeth’s suggestion all those years ago, that they look at some of the military files and see which soldiers could do double duty in the lab with the education they had, but Radek had, and he'd seen Sheppard’s file.  
  
Sheppard was practically a mathematical genius. That time he’d been confused about combinatorics? A lie.  
  
Radek thought ahead, and he thought quickly. He found the best graphing calculator he could get on short notice, and then he programmed it to include games like Tetris and Galaga. Colonel Sheppard would be able to do all the complex math he wanted but still play games - and play dumb - if he so chose.  
  
And maybe he’d understand that someone was onto him and be more forthcoming about his smarts in the future.  
  
Sadly, Colonel Sheppard was nowhere to be found when the gift exchange was finished. Radek suspected the man was tucked into a corner somewhere, playing Galaga already, and he was pleased.

*

“But I already got my Secret Santa gift,” Rodney said dumbly.

The little Marine - who wasn’t little so much as young; he looked terrified even though he was twice Rodney’s size - thrust the box at him, and he took it before it hit the floor. The little Marine scurried away, and Rodney stared at the box. It was crudely wrapped compared to the work of art that he suspected Lorne was behind, and the label on it read _from your **real** Secret Santa_.  
  
At first Rodney thought the box was empty, but when he shook it, a piece of paper fell out. The only thing written on it was - coordinates.  
  
Rodney frowned, confused, but after a couple of seconds he realized they weren’t land coordinates but coordinates to a place on Atlantis. So he carried both boxes and the paper to the nearest transporter and punched in the coordinates.  
  
The transporter spat him out in the command living quarters, but he wasn’t quite where he was supposed to be.  
  
He counted along the doors until he came to - his own room.  
  
He stared.  
  
And opened the door.  
  
John was sitting on the edge of his bed.  
  
“What are you doing here?” Rodney asked.  
  
John pointed to the bow on his head. “Merry Christmas.”  
  
Rodney set both boxes aside and said, “Thank goodness. I have a present for you, too.”  
  
“I already got my Secret Santa gift.”  
  
Rodney hurried over to his desk and opened a drawer, pulled out a carefully-wrapped box. Handed it to John. Hovered anxiously while he opened it.  
  
John looked ridiculously adorable with the Christmas bow on his head. He stared at the bottle for a long moment. “Is this -?”  
  
“Homemade lube, yes. I have very sensitive skin.”  
  
John reached out, snagged Rodney’s jacket, and tugged him in.  
  
Rodney leaned and kissed him.  
  
An hour and a half later, John was wearing nothing but that ridiculous bow, and Rodney was lying beside him, noticing for the first time the mistletoe hung above his bed.  
  
“Did you try to bribe Lorne to rig the exchange?” Rodney asked.  
  
“Wasn’t Lorne, it was Naoe. He wouldn’t budge. Said it would ruin the integrity of his algorithm.”  
  
“I got a great gift anyway.” Rodney nuzzled the spot behind John’s ear that made him moan.  
  
John kissed him and smiled against his skin. “Me too.”


End file.
